Your romantic relationship is very different than any other relationship in your life. Ideally it is within this relationship where you feel the most safe and comfortable in your vulnerability because trust has been established. A healthy romantic relationship operates as a team and from a place of collaboration as opposed to competition. This couple is genuinely concerned with each other’s health on ALL levels and makes health, especially emotional health, a priority.
A couple who truly operates from a healthy ‘We Space’ does not verbally or emotionally attack or antagonize each other. Instead, they are keenly aware that the quality of their WE Space is dependent on the emotional well-being of the individual ‘Me’ spaces. A healthy ‘We Space’ strives to understand their partner; especially during times of conflict realizing that even if (1) they are unaware or (2) do not think ‘it’ is an issue, the fact that their partner is unhappy/ uncomfortable is reason enough to collaborate with their partner to resolve said issue; because the health of the WE space is dependent of the emotional health of the ME space.
When you love someone you do not want him/her to hurt and you especially do not want to contribute to their pain on any level and being dismissive, demeaning, and/or non-supportive are all ways to emotionally wound your partner. Today and everyday, I implore you to identify the areas were you and your partner collaborate and where there is competition and set a goal to change it to collaborations. –Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS