Women, when it comes to relationships are you making it more complicated than it needs to be? Are you spending a great amount of time and energy trying to analyze his behavior (or lack thereof)? Are you spending hours facilitating and drawing intricate maps on the dry erase board with your girlfriends trying to decipher and break down his actions.
- Perhaps he was wounded in childhood.
- Maybe his heart was broken during his teenage years and he has never learned how to trust or love again.
- He did mention being busy at work, maybe he is stressed at the job and is just too tired to respond or contact me.
OR going through bottles of wine with your girlfriends questioning who you are and/or your behavior:
- Did I offend him?
- Am I too….glam, loud, quiet, #creative, ambitious, picky, demanding, opinionated, popular…
- Did I come on too strong or not strong enough?
- Perchance he is intimidated by me and/or my #success.
- Do I need to pursue him, really put myself out there and let him know I am interested?
DROP THE DRY ERASE MARKERS AND BACK AWAY FROM THE BOARD! PUT THE BOTTLE AND GLASSES OF WINE DOWN! STOP HOLDING YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HOSTAGE WITH YOUR INCESSANT ANALYSIS OF HIM!
Men are not that complicated. If he is interested you will not have a doubt. He will make his intentions very clear. Regardless of his childhood wounds, broken heart in middle school, demands of his career HE WILL CALL YOU AND PLAN DATES IF AND ONLY IF he is truly interested. Men do not play hard to get. Men do not need to be convinced. If he is intrigued, his words AND behaviors will clearly convey this to you.
You are NOT at the mercy of him and his interest. You do not need closure, a summary report or a debriefing call as to why he is not interested or why he disappeared or why he is ignoring your calls/texts/emails, etc. His behavior or lack thereof is clearly communicating everything you need to know. The why is not important, only the what and the what is that he is not interested….who cares about the reason.
Give thanks that he did not try to ‘sell a dream to you.’
You have the authority to make the decisions in your life, if you are not having the type of experience you desire in the romantic space, then walk away.
He is not your guy and that is okay. Free up the space which creates room for the man who WANTS to chat with you, WANTS to spend time with you and schedules dates to ensure this happens. Free up space for the man who LIKES who you are just as you are and thinks you are dope! Go where you are celebrated. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS