This dating series of love tips resulted from a discussion I recently had with college women who had various questions about dating which included where to meet eligible men. In other cultures, introductions are often utilized to connect people by people who know the individuals quite well. I am not sure why this practice is not used more often in our society. Within our social circles, we have great platonic friends who may be an awesome match for each other, however they have not met. This is where you can serve as a bridge and facilitate an introduction.
Perhaps the introduction can occur in a non-threatening way such as hosting a causal mixer at your house. Maybe everyone in your social circle can invite their single, platonic friends (equal number of men and women) and take the time to introduce them to the other guests. At Love Grows, we recommend true platonic friends (not exes) for the introductions to avoid uncomfortable spaces. However, it is possible for individuals to be emotionally mature as it pertains to their ex such that they are open and willing to facilitate an introduction. Of course this is ONLY possible if BOTH parties have truly closed the door on their #romantic space and have no desire to #reconnect.
There is also a sense of accountability when you introduce friends based on their friendship with you. Individuals may tend to take these spaces a bit more serious and or be more honest (i.e. not play mental-emotional games, not stringing him/her along, etc) because they do not want to risk ruining their friendship with you by treating your friend in a disrespectful, unkind manner. This sense of accountability, is similar to the accountability experienced in other cultures when family members serve as matchmakers.
Your role is to only make the introduction, you are not responsible for or is it healthy for you to become too involved in what transpires after the introduction. They are adults, respect their space. Allow them to move at their own pace. Do not pressure either side. If both or one decides there is no interest, chemistry or compatibility, that is okay. However, it is also quite possible unbeknownst to any of the parties involved, this simple introduction can be the beginning of a big love story and what an awesome toast you will be able to make at their wedding. All relationships begin with an introduction and you never know how the story will unfold. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS