The occasional stroll down romantic memory lane is okay, but you cannot reside there for it no longer exists. Sometimes, we have the tendency to romanticize our past romantic spaces by highlighting only the positive aspects of the relationship for we do not remember every detail of our lives or life experiences; instead we tend to hold onto those events which had a significant impact on our lives. These events are not necessarily traumatic, sometimes they may represent transitional points in our lives, times when we experienced high or low levels of happiness, joy, love, peace, a catalyst which may have changed our beliefs or perspective on life, etc. This sometimes results in romanticizing a particular person because they experienced this space or in some cases encouraged this transition in our lives. It is quite acceptable to remember these events and even feel a sense of gratitude to these individuals. But it can become counterproductive if one is not able to experience life to the fullest because they are still holding onto their ex even though years have transpired since this space and the ex has continued to move on with their life.
Relationships do not fail instead they are opportunities to learn more about self through the exchange of tools and experiences, ultimately contributing to evolving into your best self. Once you shift your perspective on relationships, you can begin to release the anger, hurt, pain, disappointment, etc. experienced due to the erroneous belief you somehow failed because the relationship did not last forever.
Why do we believe relationships are suppose to last forever?
Even if a couple were to remain together for life, there is still death. Life is filled with beginnings and endings, for this is the ONLY way life can continue. Are you missing out on opportunities to begin new chapters in your love life because you are wandering down memory lane, resulting in your inability to be present (emotionally or mentally)?
Come Back to the present.
The present is where the next chapter of your life begins, it has been awaiting your return. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS