Being judgmental is perhaps the number one reason why people remove others from their inner circle of trust.
There are infinite realities and perspectives and everyone is on their own journey. Life is “on the job training” where we are all learning, implementing, revising, re-implementing, designing, implementing, re-designing, learning, gaining wisdom, revisiting, learning, teaching, exploring, discovering, repeating, etc. Although we have all seen many Thursdays and the month of March this is the FIRST and LAST time each of us will experience March 1, 2018. It is new.
Your beliefs, perspective, rules, norms, boundaries, process, fears, etc are NOT universal truths which everyone is suppose to adhere. It is disrespectful, unkind and not of love to impose and expect others to adhere to and apply your version to their life. To have these expectations and to sit in judgment is quite egotistical.
Who are you to judge another?
Who are you to 'freeze' someone at a specific time point and refuse to allow them to evolve?
What is the purpose of gossiping about another, what are YOU REALLY attempting to avoid within yourself?
- Sometimes when it seems as if someone has ‘disappeared’ from your life it is because they became tired of your judgment, unsolicited advice, the threat of damnation, you pointing out everything YOU perceive to be wrong with their life, choices, behavior, etc.
- Perhaps they grew tired of conversations where you were the judge, jury, bailiff, prosecutor and the world was the defendant.
- Maybe they were exhausted with having to wear a mask around you, no longer free to be their full authentic self because they knew you would go into your ‘fix my life’ mode where you had all the answers and they had nothing.
They did not disappear. They removed you from their inner circle of trust.
The truth is the ones that are the most judgmental are the ones who either have significant blind spots to the areas where they can grow or have significant healing to do.
No one is an expert at life because life is constantly evolving. However, there are those who are more aligned with the ebb and flow of life and practice non-resistance. When you respect another person’s journey you no longer try to convince, convert or condemn (3 Cs) them or sit in judgement. Instead you meet them exactly where they are and provide a safe, non-judgmental space where all parties can be vulnerable, transparent and emotionally safe to explore, discover, release and evolve. You are able to do this because you are honest and aware of YOUR FULL truth, not only the socially acceptable parts.
Are you judgmental? Are you ready to discover your emotional wounds that are contributing to this behavior? We are now accepting new clients. Contact LoveGrows@MishaNGranado.com for more information and to schedule your appointments. Love Grows and is in Full Bloom! – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS