I recently had a session with a group of college women where the discussion focused on healthy relationships and love. Inevitably the conversation quickly turned to dating and these young women had all sorts of questions from where to meet eligible men, dating dos and don’ts, healthy boundaries, etc. So this week our series is:
***6 Dating Tips to Change Your Perspective***
Tip #1 – Meet and Greet:
It has happened, you met someone, perhaps online, in person or via a matchmaker (i.e. professional matchmaker or self-appointed matchmakers, i.e. friends, family, associates, etc.). You are intrigued and want to determine if there is any chemistry and mutual interest to get to know one another. My recommendation is to have what we call at Love Grows, a ‘Meet and Greet,’ a preliminary opportunity to determine if there is interest. This strategy was a result of our clients going on elaborate first dates only to discover there was no chemistry, conversation or interests and now both parties are trying to make it through a very awkward date. Not to mention the expense (often incurred by men) if one went on multiple first dates only to conclude they are not a match, there is no chemistry or even interest.
Our recommendation for a Meet and Greet is a casual meeting, perhaps on a Saturday during the hours of 11a-3p at a coffee shop, park or some other causal setting without alcohol. We advise against alcohol to ensure both parties are mentally available and present which allows for a more authentic introduction. Scheduling a Meet and Greet early in the day provides ample time that if there is not mutual interests, both parties can part ways without investing a significant amount of resources (i.e. time, energy, money) and still have their Saturday available. The rationale (and proof via our clients) is it is significantly more pleasant to spend time with someone where the interest is mutual. If mutual chemistry and interest is there, the meet and greet will naturally evolve into the desire to spend more time together; perhaps the decision to grab lunch or venture to another location (i.e. museum stroll, bowling, dinner later that evening, etc.). I am sure we all have an example of meeting someone only to look up and notice a significant amount of time has lapsed although it does not feel like it because both of you were having such a great time, it was as if time stopped. Contrary, you may also have experienced a date where you felt trapped thinking, ‘My goodness how many more dinner courses, quarters in the game or acts of this production before this date ends???!!!! Ugh!” LOL!
Have any of you implemented a ‘Meet and Greet’ as a preliminary way to get to know someone? What was your experience? If not, do you think you will try it the next time you meet someone? We would love to hear your prospective. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS