At our Love Grows practice our recommendation to our clients is to bypass the dinner and movie or the bar/lounge dates and to opt for non-traditional dates which provide an opportunity to learn more about each other through action and experience. By engaging in some sort of activity, the opportunity for organic conversation to occur increases significantly because you two are (1) present, (2) participating in an activity together and (3) creating memories.
For example, an activity such as indoor rock climbing provides an opportunity to discover communication styles and engage in team work. These are the type of characteristics which are vital to any relationship.
- How do you two communicate with each other while on the wall?
- How do you encourage each other?
- Perhaps one has trepidation about scaling the wall, how do they convey this stress?
- Do they lash out at their partner?
- Are they able to effectively communicate what they need from their partner?
- Do they shut down and want to end the activity?
These type of non-traditional dates provide greater insight than sitting in a theater not speaking to each other.
Again, before dating anyone, it is imperative you do your work to know what constricts and compliments you. What have you learned about yourself via your dating life? What are the ‘must have’ qualities in a partnership to compliment you?
If you do not know these, perhaps it is time to schedule your sessions with us and together we can embark on this journey. Once you know self better, your dating life improves significantly. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS