Unfortunately since we cannot see the entire spectrum of our life, endings (especially unexpected or undesired) do not make sense to us. However sometimes it is not until you begin something new will the purpose of the ending become clear.
Endings – closures create space: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and energetically.
It is okay and quite healthy to grieve the closure, especially as it pertains to relationships, for the absence of the connection is painfully felt in the beginning.
- It is okay to mourn the life you once had and all of the other emotions that come with it (anger, sadness, disappointment, etc.).
- It is okay to not know what is next at the moment.
- It is okay to seek therapy to help you process and heal.
- It is okay to question God.
- It is okay to cry, yell (not at others or animals), hit a bag, etc.
Allow your emotions to run its course, but do not get stuck there.
Do not allow an ending to convince you that you are not good enough, love has forgotten you, you will never love or be loved again, you are not worthy, etc. Do not allow endings to convince you to accept poor, unhealthy behavior from others, or yourself. Do not allow endings to erase the memories of what was.
Endings are a part of the life cycle and we will begin to heal once we accept this and become in alignment with the ebb and flow of life. Yes, it hurts when someone no longer wants to be with you (regardless of the reason) but what is more painful is participating in your own heartache by expending your energy to try to convince said person to want you again. Love is love when it is freely given.
- A new perspective is needed to view the situation differently.
- What if you were to use this time to invest in self, your interests, training, evolution, etc?
- What if you were to view this ending as creating the space for the next love-life adventure?
- What if you were to embrace this newly acquired ‘quiet space’ instead of trying to fill the space immediately?
- What would happen if you were to practice gratitude for the time, experience, lessons and opportunity to love, regardless of the time frame?
- What if you were to use this time to evaluate the space (hindsight is 20/20) and identify what you will implement and discard in your next space?
Be gentle with yourself. Obtain a therapist (please consider us). Your life is a journey, not a destination; make it an adventure. Contact LoveGrows@MishaNGranado.com to schedule your sessions today. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS