Healthy WE spaces require both individuals have a healthy ME space. Oftentimes people have very specific timelines and benchmarks for romantic relationships. HOWEVER, healthy, successful relationships require a few key elements:
Are we in the same space, meaning do we want the same thing with EACH other? An example of NOT being in the same space is... one person desires a monogamous, committed relationship moving towards marriage and babies and the other desires a casual dating space.
Do you desire the same things but on drastically different timelines? Person A: Babies within a year | Person B: Babies in 5 years.
Have both parties done their work? Have you healed your emotional wounds? Made your emotional health and well being a priority? Are you both connoisseurs of self, meaning you are responsible & accountable for your behavior, energy, you practice the art of communication, you know what expands and constricts your highest good? You aren't looking for a partner to heal, save or fix you nor for someone to complete you because you KNOW two healthy whole people make a healthy relationship.
There are other factors to consider but these are a few major ones. For example if Person A is a marathon runner and Person B is just beginning their fitness journey, they are not in the same SPACE or moving at the same PACE. Frustration, anger, resentment, feeling pressure or not 'good enough' results if:
🚫Person A tries to (1) fast tract Person B, (2) stops or slows down waiting for B to catch up, which results in A not operating at optimal level/growing.
🚫Person B did not choose to become a marathon runner, doesn't have the skills, stamina, etc to keep up. Resulting in feeling pressure to meet Person's A expectations.
Pace, space and emotional health a few of the things we address at Love Grows. Schedule a session today. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS