We are not afraid of love; actually many people desire love and want to cultivate a beautiful loving space with another. However, we are afraid of:
Being taken advantage of
Our adoration not being reciprocated
So in attempt to protect our hearts, we may put up barriers which ultimately keep others out of our lives (or at least from getting close to us). We all have experienced heartache and as a result we sometimes unfairly ‘prosecute’ others for ‘emotional infractions’ when others are not aware of how their words, behaviors and/or actions may have contributed to our wound (a wound in which they are oblivious).
If you do not communicate your ‘triggers’ others will not know how to adequately protect your heart. Many people do not intentionally set out to hurt you. If you have not articulated your expectations and shared your past experiences (which provide a context) others do not have enough information to adequately make any necessary changes in attempt to honor the space and you.
I intimately know the ‘double sided sword’ of putting yourself out there and being excited about the potential and possibility of love while simultaneously feeling trepidation due to the fear of being hurt. It indeed can feel like a tight rope walk many miles in the air with the absence of a safety net or harness *whoa* However, in order to experience this amazing love space, we must take:
the risk…to push through our fear
and take a chance…a chance for and on love.
Communicate, do not shut down or shut people out, express how you feel. If someone has been vulnerable with you by sharing their feelings, emotional wounds and/or triggers, know that they have allowed you into a very sacred place because there is something in you; about you that they believed they could trust you with their vulnerability. Do not wound them further. Be gentle, for that is the first step towards love ©. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS